History Of Live In Slave

Most Personal blog ever written. A needed retelling with vidid detail and left out incidents. 

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This is a retelling of one of my very first blogs along with a sequel. This slave currently lives with me and other blogs have been written about him. My writing skills when I started writing for dominants were “rusty.” I’ve been reading a lot of Stephan King, which explains why my skills have improved. The first blog about Ryan was very poorly written, I’m embarrassed looking at it. The original first blog is only 5% of the length of this retelling. This is much longer then the original as the original was so sloppy and short. This is the proper telling of the most important slave of my life. It’s been rewritten to the point to where its a whole new blog.

A lot more happened with Ryan years ago after this occurred with written sequels. So I’ve decided to expand everything with more detail, like a remastered film. There is already a blog written of when he first became my live in slave. That will also be blended as one. There is also a now part 3, the length of a standard blog with a part of my life never revealed. 

Half-way Down this blog, there is a link to a cross over with another slave, Father Faggot aka Tommy. It’s recommended you read that before you continue reading the rest. The time line was confusing, and redoing doing this makes the cross over make much more sense.

This blog also announces the happiest change in my life. There is now an additional ending to part two, years after the incident. That ending will close this saga with Ryan.

This goes all the way back to December 31st, 2013 on New Years Eve. Our first video has recently been uploaded to dominants as of this writing and has literally brought in thousands alone and stands among the top 10 greatest videos of mine. I’ve been jotting down memories of all kinds and want to leave my legacy behind, along with inspiring others.

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Part 1

The Beginning

I have used an app to draw subs for years with my profile stating my experience as a Financial Dom. I wasn’t on dominants back then, but still had means of finding willing victims for my benefit and gratification. I remember playing my Nintendo Wii U when he responded, Nintendo’s game console that sadly flopped. I got a message from a man that just said Ryan as his user name. (I still have that picture.) Before reading his message my first thought was “oh the hot dad next door type.” (I rarely get subs who I think look good.) I would have never guessed he was gay just by looking at his photos. “Hello Sir, I can’t believe this is really you! I’ve seen your videos online. I thought I recognized that face somewhere. Has anyone told you you’re the sexiest man in the world?” My response, “Honestly I’m so used to it its like hearing the weather in Chicago. And You are to address me as Sir.” Ryan is one of many to recognize me from online. One Time (IN PERSON) I was asked for my autograph at a club by some fat drag queen. She approached me squealing with delight, fake tits bouncing up and down. Her dress had every color of the rainbow, looking like a southern black woman dressed for church from the 70s.

“Yes Sir, I’ve been jerking off to you for years and have many videos saved on a hard drive. I’ve had so many fantasies of you doing things to me. I have some morbid kinks sir but I’m sure none of them would shock you.” Playing my game at the same time I responded, “Tell me some of them.”  He told me he wanted to get pissed on, was into mild scat, physically getting fag bashed, feet, and getting raped forcefully against his will. He told me he had always been a top and had never bottomed in his life. Finally he told me he had a fetish for paying guys in general and couldn’t quite explain why.  “There was this one time a hot twink flirted with me at this bar one night. He kept flattering me and encouraged me to keep drinking. Anyway we went back to my hotel room as I set my wallet on the nightstand not thinking much of it. After I fucked him and he left, I realized he had taken my entire wallet.” I asked him for his number and to text mine. (“Normally I never do that but its HIM. My wife might find it, its ok I’ll just delete the messages.”) Ryan made a reckless decision yet took the risk, texting me immediately. I asked Ryan how he felt being robbed. “Sir this is gonna sound strange but it turned me on. Now I have this addiction of paying boys just to let me fuck them.” I asked if I could call him. “Yes sir, but not for long because I have plans with the wife and kids tonight. It’s New Years and there is this thing we are going to.” We exchanged numbers as Ryan nervously awaited my call, his online fantasy talking to him in real life.

I called him and answered immediately, “Hello Sir,” he said with a sigh of anxiousness.  “So continue with your addiction to paying boys.” My predatory instincts were kicking in as I saw another potential willing victim. Throughout the entire conversation he answered everything I asked and never questioned anything, as if his submissive instincts were just natural. “Whenever I meet with a boy, I just offer money and they take it. I can’t cum unless I’m handing them even more. Sometimes they get greedier and demand more, it makes me cum harder then anything.” As wheels spun and lightbulbs went on in my head, I then told Ryan to tell me about the stolen wallet. I realized he was already infatuated with me so manipulating him was easy. “When he took the wallet I realized my cards were gone along with $600 in cash. I had to use my credit card to pay the rent. I didn’t think about that at first as I started jerking off and staring at his pics. He was one of the guys who got really greedy as I was fucking his ass. I started sending to his paypal and gave him $400 before he robbed me in the first place. In total he took a thousand dollars from me. Instead of being mad, I started jerking off on the hotel bed thinking of how he kept repeating he wanted more. I realized him not caring about me by robbing me just turned me on more.”

His voice got quiet as I asked if he had ever been dominated in real life. “Oh yes I’ve paid to sniff guys feet, have them step on me, spit on my face. None of them have rapped my ass, I’m too scared to bottom when ever I get the chance.” He talked on and on about vanilla shit that bored me. I was in a sadistic mood, as taking control of someone turns me on more then anything. An idea went off in my head to test how enamored he was with me. I asked him, “What are you doing for New Year’s with your family.” He was quiet and breathing, touching himself without even realizing it. “I’m sorry sir I’m watching one of your videos as I talk to you. My wife and the kids are going to an old family friend of Angie’s. Angie is my wife, she drives me fucking crazy. I really don’t want to go, but I’m so used to doing everything and things I don’t really want to do. My life is boring and miserable.” I decided my plans weren’t much exciting either, but I could easily make that change. “So you say you don’t have a lot of time. What if you came to my place tonight instead. Step into the New Year having an experience that could change your life forever. “Sir I have to go.. even though I don’t want to. All we do is sing karaoke, play board games and tell bible stories to the kids. Angie will get plastered and she never lets me drink, like always. She claims I have to be alert in case she needs me and to be a responsible driver.” I proceeded to break him down, “You are going to lie to her Ryan.” (“He wants me to lie to her?! I do like him but I don’t know…. but a part of me wants him to. His profile says… Findom. What is that?”)

“I want you to tell her you are sick. Go stick a thermometer under hot water after this call and put it under your tongue. Talk with a raspy voice and say you feel as if you are coming down with something.” Ryan held the phone clutched in his sweaty hands, unsure of what to do. (“Something is telling me this is so wrong, but why do I want to do as he says?” I want to ask him what findom is.”) “Ryan once they leave, I want you to uber to my house. Now go do what I told you, they are very simple instructions. You’re a fucking idiot for listening to me. Now thank me for calling you an idiot.” He sounded aroused as he replied, “Thank you for calling me an idiot sir. May I ask what findom is?” I informed him its a form of mental BDSM for those who want to give up control. “What If I told you findom can involve a hot guy demanding cash out of you in various ways?” Ryan got hard immediately. (“Financial... domination... I have an idea of it just by the actual name. There is a true name for my fetish?”) In Ryan’s mind, financial clicked with having his cash taken and controlled in some way. He was rock hard and spoke with a trembling voice of arousal, “What address am I going to?” I told him the address as he entered it in his phone as I hung calling him a fucking idiot again.

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Ryan did exactly as I instructed and pretended to be sick. From what he told me, he was very convincing. Angie was a different kind of bi-polar. She was mentally abusive most of their marriage. There would be temporary moments where she acted normal. Every day she insulted him, making him feel he was never good enough. She even talked down to him in front of their kids, encouraging them to talk back to their father. It was common for Ryan to come home from work as Angie sat on the sofa drinking malt liquor and smoking cigarettes. She didn’t have a job as she insisted she shouldn’t have to work since Ryan made good money. Instead of a kiss or hug to greet him, he was met with complaining and harsh criticism. Many times he wished he could escape from it all and lose total control of his life. Angie would always spend his extra money, which made Ryan wonder if being robbed and used for cash by guys became a coping mechanism. It didn’t matter, as his drive to getting taken advantage financially was growing immensely. His secret meetings with guys behind his family’s back was a pleasurable escape. Having greedy guys demand cash out of him during sexual encounters was becoming an addiction he didn’t want to stop. He began leaving his wallet out on purpose hoping his hook ups would lead to having it taken again. He would jerk off each time until it made him orgasm like nothing else.

Around 10PM he knocked on my door nervously. (“I can’t believe I am actually getting to meet him.”) I opened the door and told him to follow me to my bedroom. He wore a baseball cap, a pair of jeans, and a light sweater. I already had a camera set up in the corner with the lid to my laptop closed, in case it would be needed. “Ryan, set your things down and sit on my bed. If you ever feel nervous at any time just say the word Cherry and everything will stop.” Ryan was rock hard through his jeans revealing he had a big dick being such a tall man. Ryan walked to my tall dresser set down his keys, phone and wallet which he loaded on purpose. (“It’s almost like its just a natural urge I just do it without thinking.” Before he had arrived, I had tied socks together to make one big blindfold. I made sure to take them from my dirty hamper just to intoxicate him. Ryan’s eyes gleamed as the scent of my dirty socks came near his face. “Oh fuck sir,” Ryan moaned as I took away his ability to see. (“I wish I could sniff the fresh socks he’s wearing right now, they must be sweaty.”) I then told Ryan, “Now I’m going to put something under your nose. It’s a glass bottle that dumb losers inhale to take the edge off when losing control.” Ryan began rubbing himself as I held a bottle of poppers under his nose and told him to inhale 5 seconds each. He inhaled deeply while taking in the scent of my man scent that covered his eyes.

I asked Ryan if he wanted to try doing some of the things he had seen in my videos now that he was slightly intoxicated. “Sir you can do anything you want to. I don’t want control over my life anymore.” I whispered in his ear seductively how hot he was as the first boy had told him the first time he got robbed. Ryan shuddered not knowing what was coming next as I asked him, “I’m going to grab your phone Ryan and I want your passcode.” Ryan didn’t hesitate as he said, “I will do anything you tell me sir, please control and manipulate me. I want you to rob me.” He started bucking his hips off the bed as if to hump the air. “Lay fully on your back now,” I said as I told him to inhale for another 7 seconds. He inhaled deeply as he told me he loved me and laid on his back as instructed. (“He’s the hottest man to ever walk the earth, I never want to leave his bedroom.”) Knowing he was a submissive top, I sat on his crotch in my basketball shorts while spitting in his face. I then informed Ryan, “I like how you keep all your passwords saved in your phone.” Ryan asked me what I was doing. “Did I tell you to talk you piece of shit?” He shook his head, “No I’m sorry sir. I’m a fucking idiot sir.” I told him to take his hand and reach inside my shorts to feel my ass as he moaned. As he was doing that I took $100 from his paypal seeing he had paypal credit. A notification went on off on my phone to confirm. Ryan moaned realizing my perfect ass was smooth and perfect, just like the power I had over him. I put poppers under his nose for the third time, making him inhale for another 7 seconds in each this time. As he moaned again I took another $200.

Suddenly his phone rang, his wife calling to check on him in a drunken voice. I put the phone to his ear as he talked normally again despite being high on poppers. “Yes dear I’m laying in bed, *Cough* I’m sorry I couldn’t come this year.” Angie then began calling him a loser out of nowhere as my jaw dropped hearing a woman talk to her husband like that. She complained how he was ruining New Years for everyone including the kids. She talked so loudly in the phone I could hear her voice as if the phone was in my own ear. I was even more shocked when I heard her bitching how he could miss a special day, their wedding anniversary being on New Years Eve. I took the phone from his hands and hung up on her. “We can just tell her you went to throw up, she can bitch at you later.” Ryan asked for more poppers, already getting addicted to them. “Thank you for taking the phone away sir, I wish you could just take me away from her forever.” I informed Ryan I was digging in his paypal as he groaned, “Fuck that’s so hot sir, please keep robbing me.” Angie called again as I just ignored the call. I put it on silent so I wouldn’t be bothered by that dumb cunt anymore. Despite being in headspace taking advantage of him, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. “Ryan, how good is your credit?” He sighed, “Despite my fetish for getting robbed I’ve always been responsible with money and have never let it get out of hand. I have two jobs sir, one working in a plastic factory and a server part time. I have a few credit cards that are fully paid off.”  I leaned down and whispered in his ear again, “How would you feel If I demanded you to run up your credit card just to make me happy. You’ve fantasized about me for years, I’m the perfect man to take advantage of you.” (“It’s like his words flow through my mind like sounds of nature, soothing and so…. RIGHT.”)

I began telling him more about financial domination such as blackmail, exposure, debt, and bankruptcy. As I told him about hard core financial domination he sighed from lust, turned on by every concept. “I want you to blackmail me sir, that sounds fucking hot!” I started grinding my basketball shorts against his jeans as I sat on top of him. “I want to milk your wallet Ryan, like another form of sex. Imagine my cock not going in your ass but digging around in your bank account. Why do you find the idea of exposure being a turn on?” He was quiet for a moment as I proceeded take take $500 from his cash cunt, a term he didn’t know yet. “I hate my wife, I hate my family. I want to be in one of your videos and show it to my wife.” I thought about his fantasy wisely, knowing that this was our first time meeting and that he may regret it. Something about me felt drawn to him, drawn in a different way unlike other slaves. “Ryan I want you to think of your wallet as a pussy, a way you can actually bottom.” He muttered he didn’t like the idea of dick in his ass. “My cock wouldn’t be going in your ass, it would be going inside your bank account.” His covered eyes couldn’t hide the facial expressions of being lost in another world. “My bank account is my pussy to get fucked in. I want your dick inside me.” (“I’ve never said that to a man before! But he’s not talking about fucking me… he’s talking about taking advantage of me.” I took another $300 as I told Ryan I had taken close to a thousand dollars. “Now thank me for taking your cash. Thank me for fucking you over.”

Ryan’s hands slipped deeper into my shorts as I got up and punched him right in the balls. Caught by surprise, he let out a yelp followed by “Thank you sir.” I opened the lid to my laptop as he kept telling me how my ass felt so perfect in his hands. I took off the blindfold and told him to get ready and be filmed. I hit record and told him to act as if the camera wasn’t there. It was at that point we recorded the 16 minute video that was recently uploaded here on dominants. The name of the edited version is simply called, “Married Dad.” After the video Ryan told me he was never so turned on in his life. During the video he finally got to lick my shoes clean and inhale the socks on my feet that I had been wearing for 4 days. I then told him to call for an uber home and as I put the blindfold made of socks back on his head. “I can’t see sir.” I assured him he would get to keep the chain of socks and take them off once the car pulled up. I put his keys back in his wallet along with his phone. I decided to stick his driver’s license in his pocket while keeping his wallet. Ryan could sense that I had robbed his wallet using common sense, as he didn’t feel it slip into his pockets. I grabbed him by the hands as he smiled all the way to my front door. “Now fuck off and get the hell out of my house.” He responded with "yes sir" and said he couldn’t wait to see me again. (“I hope Angie eventually sees that video.”)

These sessions went on for years as he continued to live with his family, leading two lives. One random day off from work involved having dinner with me late one evening. “I’m not gonna tell Angie I'm off today, I need a break from her. My only escape is going to work, my home life is miserable.” Me and Ryan talked on the phone every night on his drives home from work. We talked about many things about our BDSM dynamics. I began opening up to him about how and where I grew up, feeling comfortable as he opened up to me. The way he vented to me was reaching out for help yet he wanted me to use him. For years I had been logging in his paypal while he was at work and took $250 on a weekly basis. Ryan would jerk off in the bathroom as he saw his credit beginning to drain deeper. On his day off he made his lunch and told his wife he was off to work. She said she loved him (Bullshit) while he walked out the door. He drove downtown Chicago to a neighborhood called Boystown. I was waiting for him at a sit down restaurant right under the Red Line Train Stop, “Belmont.” (I can’t remember the name.) Ryan walked in and sat next to me. As the waitress came and took our order, I ordered the most expensive meal I could think of. I ordered a few beers on top of it. As Ryan began to speak I told him to shut up as I ordered him a salad. Right in front of the waitress he replied, “Yes sir.” She shook her head and smiled, not surprised by anything working in this neighborhood of bathhouses and BDSM.  As The waitress came back with a beer for each, I took Ryan’s right from his hand as she walked away.

I walked into the bathroom and poured out 1/3rd of his beer into the faucet. I then began filling the beer bottle with my piss, deciding to test his limits. As I sat back at the table I handed him his beer, “Take a fucking sip and thank me for the gift I put inside.” Ryan gulped his beer realizing I had pissed in it. I smirked at him, “How does it taste you fucking idiot?” Ryan continued sipping as the waitress brought us our food and another round of beers. As she walked away he smiled with his warm blue eyes, “I’d like another just like it sir.” As I was back in the bathroom pissing in his second beer I decided to speed things up with him. I was getting lost in a headspace in a way I’ve never felt before. I couldn’t stop myself and neither could he, the lust for power transfer being mutual. As I handed him his second “tainted” beer, he said something that wasn’t a shock to me. “I want to put my life in your hands Sir, please take me away from my miserable life. I want you to be in control and I’m not saying this in the heat of the moment. I’ve been researching findom further and everything I’ve read hit home. The more I discovered, all I could think about was you. I hate Angie, I would rather be happy with an abusive boyfriend.” I was shocked with his last sentence, as I don’t date let alone fuck slaves with Andrew as an exception. Straight masters don’t fuck their slaves obviously. Just because I’m not straight doesn’t mean I have to have any feelings or be any different then them. Perhaps I was thinking too hard about what he said.

“Ryan I want to take things a step further if you truly want to lose control of your life. Next time you come over my house there are things I want and deserve.” Sipping his piss saturated beer he asked, “What type of things sir?” I told him I wanted all of his personal information and that his password for paypal wasn’t enough to make me happy. “I want to make you happy sir, I love you for taking advantage of me. I WANT you to screw me over. I want you to expose me.” I ignored his comment on exposure as I continued on, “I want you to bring over your birth certificate, passport, and the title to your car. Let me ask you something, do you have any money set aside anywhere besides your savings?” He took a bite of his salad, “If you want me to sign over the title to my car, I would do it without question sir. I have a 401k I’ve been building up for years.” I asked him how much was in there. (“Why is this turning me on? He’s demanding to know what’s in my 401k and I’m going to tell him like a stupid moron.”) Ryan told me there was 87 thousand in his 401k. As he told me, he kept his head low with an inner battle going on in his head. “I will bring you my birth certificate and everything you ask of me Sir. I will not disobey.” I told him that indeed I wanted him signing over the title of his car.

“I will be more then happy to sign over the title to my car. I want to do extreme things to please you.” I smirked turned on for many reasons, some of the reasons I wouldn’t understand till years later. The ability to extract from this willing victim freely and so easily was a major head rush. We talked about him transferring his life over to me casually in public where everyone could hear us. “About that 401k, I want it. I deserve it. The thought of you handing it all over is making my dick hard. When I’m hard that means I’m happy, and making me happy should be your life priority. I am now the center priority of your entire life now.” He nodded, “Yes sir, your happiness is my main priority in life. If I pull out my entire 401k, I’m going to lose 1/3rd of it in penalties.” I laughed, “I don’t give a fuck about what you’re going to lose, I care about what I deserve and what I am going to get out of you.” I told Ryan to start rubbing his jeans in the restaurant and tell me his social security number. His usual expressions of shock were no longer, as he wanted this deeply and more. He looked around to make sure nobody was looking at us and began to rub himself in his jeans. He told me his social security immediately with no hesitation, “Does having my social security number and me signing over my car title turn you on sir.” I felt myself turned on watching him break down telling me all 9 digits with the risk of being caught touching himself. I spit in his face as it ran down his face, “Now you fucking idiot, I’m going home. You can take care of the bill, that’s your fucking job.” As I walked out Ryan sent me a text, “You should never have to pay for anything sir, you’re a God. A God deserves a life of royalty, I want to give you that life.”

Ryan came over a week later after he left work early, not telling his wife once again. Almost every night he would masterbate on camera as I teased him with my feet and insulting him for being a dumb faggot. “I’m a total loser sir.” Things would soon escalate deeper with our camera sessions each time. When he did arrive next, he brought over the title to his car along with every government document of his. He came in through the back door as planned to make our second video, which has also been uploaded on here as dominants. Before I hit record I noticed a large breifcase he set down, I didn’t ask any questions as I was focused on my computer. After making our second video I brought up up his personal information again. “You could totally ruin my credit and steal my identity sir.” I asked how that made him feel knowing I could destroy him. “I want nothing more Master. I love you enough to let you use me at your disposal and toss aside if you wish. Please take me away from my miserable life of being a loser.” Once I had the title to his car we talked about registration and all that.  I put his documents in a drawer with documents to other slaves of mine. “Sir I brought you a surprise, something you want and deserve. I brought in in the briefcase." Inside the briefcase were wads of $100 bills. “I took everything out of my 401K sir. I’ve been jerking off to my entire retirement savings waiting in the case just to give you. I told Ryan once again to get the fuck out of my house while taking his new wallet he set down on my coffee table. “Thank you for continuing to run up my credit sir.” Ryan kept his 401k a big hidden secret for 4 years. He kept serving me for 4 years, making my life happier  to please me. Even though I had the title to his car, he still drove it to work as I added him to the insurance for the car. It was MY car for his use.

I informed Ryan about another slave who was a Cath*lic “Father” who wanted to get used with another slave. He was willing to do anything I asked.

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Before we finish part 1, it’s highly recommended you read the sequel to Satanic Worship which involves a young “Father” who was already preaching at a church and holding mass on Sundays. Father Faggot and Ryan meet for the first time as Ryan experiences one of the most intense moments of his life. If you’ve read it before, read it again so things stay fresh in your mind.

Ryan And Father Tommy - Satanic Worship 2

https://krishawk69.wixsite.com/mysite/post/untitled

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After the session with both him and Tommy in the church late at night, he told me it was the most reckless thing he had ever done. “I could have been exposed if anybody had walked in that night.” I teased him about him begging to get exposed since the day we met. “Tommy was upset when nobody got exposed that night. But I think the time for your exposure has come. I told Ryan to strip butt naked in my bedroom as I put a real blindfold on him. Me and Ryan talked about the video I recorded with both him and Tommy at my feet as I began getting rope to tie him up. I spit in his face again, one of my favorite things to do to trash like this fucking idiot. “I’ve never loved anyone more then you sir, you’re the center of my life.” I punched him in the jaw, “Shut the fuck up and lay face down on the bed.” Whimpering from the pain I put poppers under his nose and told him to inhale for 10 seconds each. Ryan sighed with pleasurable relief. (“This is medicine for dumb losers to embrace what they really are.”) As Ryan was fully face down on my bed, I took the long rope and tied his feet around the entire box spring going under the bed and did the same with his torso. Ryan’s nude body was completely tied to my bed wearing nothing but a blindfold. Just to be sadistic, I took one of my skateboards and forced it under Ryan’s pelvic area as he screamed feeling it rub against his hard dick. I took Ryan’s phone again and held it again my computer to hit record. 

“Now you are going to talk to Angie directly, this will be the message we send her.” As Ryan was about to respond I jumped on the bed and began trampling him. He grunted feeling my weight on top of him. “My power over you is intoxicating, powerful enough to make you a human drone. Tell Angie about my cash cock.” Ryan started talking to the camera as if his wife was in the room. Without warning I finally decided to make one of his life long fantasies come true, as Angie needed proof he was a faggot. I Put lube up his hole then pulled off my basketball shorts. I got on top of him and shoved all 8 inches in him as he began screaming. Tears rolled down his eyes as I strangled him, “Shut the fuck up or I’ll slam you harder. Tell your wife what you are.” I held poppers under his nose while the phone kept recording, “I’m a faggot Angie, can’t you see he’s raping my hole. I’ve never taken dick before and now he’s forcing me to take it. Our entire marriage I’ve been fucking younger guys behind your back. Evertime we’ve fucked I had to pretend it’s another guy. I’ve never been attracted to you. I only married you to make my family happy since they are homophobic like yourself you stupid cunt. I’m giving my life over to my master and leaving you. Just so you know this has been going on for 4 years behind your back. When we get divorced there is nothing for you to take 50% of!”

I thrust harder into Ryan and told him to tell her about the title transfer and his 401k. Ryan moaned, now enjoying the feeling of his alpha forcefully hitting his prostate. Ryan kept talking to Angie what a lazy dumb bitch she was and how he didn’t care about her anymore. “It’s not like you ever cared about me, just like I don’t give a fuck about you. You can have the kids, tell them I’m a faggot too! There will be no child support, as my paychecks are going to be direct deposited to my master’s account. He’s going to take power of attorney to where you can’t control me anymore.” I was turned on as he talked about me taking power of attorney, the ultimate form of legal control. He forgot about the recording as he began moaning, “Fuck hard sir, hard the way you’ve fucked my retirement and cash cunt!” Hearing him degrade himself as a dumb loser in front of his wife was too much for me as I shot my load inside. I stopped the recording and collapsed on top of him. Catching my breath I whispered in his ear, “Your ass and your bank account are now one.” There was minutes of silence until he thanked me for raping him in more ways then one.

Part 2

Transition

This jumps ahead and starts into 2016.

Ryan faced a closeted life since he first discovered he was into guys, being raised in a far right conservative family. Now mind you I have nothing against anyone’s beliefs, but these people were batshit crazy who believed pollution itself was a hoax on top of the earth being round. Being gay was a sin to them, they expected so much of him. He had a degree in business and had a well to do job. His wife cheated on him, spat on him, called him pathetic, and would argue to the kids that their father was a piece of shit. He had lived his life coming home only to be emotionally battered. She occasionally showed him affection and had her sweet moments.  Ryan had spent his whole life holding back his feelings. He went to church every sunday with his family, as to not to break tradition as he was raised. Eventually as you read, he lost his mind. He once had a stud Twink rob him in a motel room and from there it was all over. I eventually drained his 401k after years of manipulating him. Before divorce, he made sure he transferred things (behind his wife’s back) in my name my name and had every penny fucked out of him like the fucking idiot he knows he is. Obviously when there is a divorce, the woman or other man takes half. There really wasn’t much left for her.. She got a friendly video from me though a week after he exposed himself. I told her worth a worthless cunt breeder she was for not being able to hold a relationship or show respect to someone in general. “This is why his cash is mine and not yours you muffin top witch.”

After Ryan gave the green light to be exposed to Angie, all hell broke loose. He was sitting on my bed after hiding for 2 days as she eventually called. Her first reaction was destroying his things and throwing clothes on the lawn. He was just smiling with Joy as she screamed she had already told his family and close friends. Normally that would scare the shit out of a someone, but Ryan was a dumb loser who was tenting in his khakis with every consequence of his willing exposure. He started grabbing himself as she mentioned all his nice things that were smashed for being a faggot. He told her to hold on as he needed to tell ME something as he turned to me “I Love throwing my life away to you sir. It feels so right.” The next thing out of her voice was “wa Wha WHA WHAT?!” I grabbed his phone and went off on her letting her know who’s in control and who has his fucking cash thats been drained to $0 in every account. I had a spare bedroom at the time, as my previous roommate had recently died of an overdose. Ryan was to keep his current job as all his paychecks were going directly into my bank account. He made sure all his funds were going to me before begged to be exposed to her, confessing his true nature as a true human drone. He didn’t care who slept in the room previously, he was too low of a pathetic loser to even care. Never having a sub live with me before, (and the only one) I practically demanded what seemed natural. He would clean the house, cook, be my personal toilet, my “jester” who I could humiliate, or let me do something horrible to him for my amusement.

Ryan had been used to doing everything around the house on top of working while his wife battered him and did nothing but drink and smoke her Newport 100s. All she did was drink and watch old seasons of Survivor and Big Brother. His first week living with me was a grace period while we communicated normally as he got used to the new changes in his life. Eventually when I smoked a cigarette or packed a bowl of weed, he would crawl to me ready to open his mouth wide. “I’m your human ash tray sir.” Ryan had never smoked before, but now he does! I was emptying out my bowl and dumped the resin in his mouth as his clit throbbed in his pants. I spit in his face like I always do, “Making me happy is your life purpose.” He swallowed every bit and opening his mouth again seeing the lit cigarette in my hand. “Nothing has ever pleased me more then giving up everything just to make you more powerful sir. You shouldn’t need to clean when you have a loser like me.” I instructed him that he would be my second vote during every election as well. He smiled knowing he could finally break free of sheer stupidity shoved down his throat all his life. After his first week of adjusting, I put a chastity device on him and told him jerking off is something only real men deserve. I remember his first day back at work after moving in with me. His first day back to work he was texting me back telling me how hot it felt to finally swell in his cage around his co-workers feeling dirty. “When I wait on tables it feels so right to just obey.” Like a moron he began calling his male co-workers sir. He realized how hot some of the guys were and was baffled at how he never noticed before. Ryan had two jobs at the time.. I asked him why he works so hard. “Because I love getting fucked over by you sir.” He mentioned fantasies of putting a spiked ring around his asshole attached to a belt. “Well thats a great idea coming from a moron like yourself. Be reminded constantly of what REAL fucking is. Nothing has made you cum harder then losing everything.” His response was very much in a trance, “YOU are now everything to me sir.”

Most of the time when others came over, he was always introduced as my roommate and pretended to be a man. He always told me about his acting classes and how he’s been good at acting like a real man for so long. One night about a year after living with me, I had 2 friends coming over to play Smash Bros for Nintendo Switch, a game console. My friends already knew about Ryan and got a kick out of every last word I told them. I was at a birthday bash where everyone got wasted out of their mind (including me.) Neither of them being str8 thought it would be fun to abuse him as well. When certain people get drunk they sometimes talk about their secrets or how they truly feel…. You know how that goes. We arranged for a fun session of them coming to abuse Ryan with me. When I came home from the party Ryan removed my shoes as I layed back. It was his job to take off my shoes, my scent being his reward. He would thrust his caged clit against empty air while begging to cum. I told him about my friends coming to abuse him, studying his face for a reaction. If that’s what Sir wants, I will do it. If anything it sounds hot.” A week later everything was arranged as Ryan kept talking about excited he was. When they arrived Ryan had the most nervous look on his face, ready to face a new type of experience he hadn’t before. My friends sat on the couch each bringing their own liquor.

My friend David wasted no time as he told Ryan to get on his knees and kiss his size 14 Nikes. Ryan looked at me in hesitation at first until I burned him with a cigarette. He screamed as I grabbed him by the throat. “You will do EVERYTHING they say. Your purpose is to simply obey. Look at how hard you’re getting!” Dave and Kyle laughed as Kyle walked over and also burned Ryan, getting hard himself being sadistic like me. David grinned with a fantastic idea, “Lets play burn the faggot and see who can make it scream loudest!” I looked at Ryan, “GET ON YOUR KNEES and get to Davids 14s AS YOU WERE ORIGINALLY TOLD.” Ryan kneeled in doggy position licking David’s massive Nikes. Me, Kyle and David took turns making him scream just for fun, with no true victory in mind. I was enjoy every moment hurting and abusing him. “I’m passing you around like a whore begging for abuse!” He moaned loading sucking on David’s shoe laces “I’m available to be used in anyway it pleases men like you sir.” I started tugging on Ryan’s Chasity cage through his pants, “I love playing the game of who can make the faggot scream the loudest.” David And Kyle burned Ryan with their cigarettes at the same time as Ryan began to shed tears while thanking them.

I grabbed Ryan by the hair making him scream again as I headed to the hall. Dave and Kyle followed me into the bathroom filled with curiosity. Without warning I pissed all over Ryan’s face as he screamed “THANK YOU SIR.” My piss splashed all over his face with his mouth managing to catch some as he swallowed it. Kyle being only 19 found this very intriguing, as he pulled down his basketball shorts halfway telling my loser to open up. Ryan shuddered with his clothes dripping on the bathroom floor. “I will clean everything up sir like I always do.” I reached into my pocket pulling out my wallet with pills inside a pocket for emergency, placing a 10 MG Vicodin in his mouth and told him to swallow. Kyle also grabbed Ryan by the hair and held his mouth open as he aimed his cock just half an inch from his mouth. A long stream of dark piss from drinking liquor filled Ryan mouth as some dribbled out. He drank most of it as David pissed all over Ryan’s clothes randomly to be an asshole. I then told Ryan to go out to the store smelling like piss to go grab us more beer. “I feel so humiliated sir, letting a boy that young talk to me like that. What kind of man does that?” I laughed and told him, “A fucking idiot.” Ryan left the apartment wearing his piss soaked clothes and said he would be back shortly. About 10 minutes later me and my buddies sat on the couch and playing our game as Ryan text me talking about some woman telling him to please take a shower. “I feel so humiliated sir, everyone is staring at me and here I am buying liquor looking like a true loser.” I text him back between fighting matches. “How does it make you feel acting out on being a loser in public?” The next message 20 minutes later was that he was on his way back and that “I want be proud of my worthlessness 24/7.

Ryan came home again shortly holding the cases in his hand. Ryan set the beer down on the coffee table and instantly got on his knees waiting for orders. We ignored him as he went from shoe to shoe for over an hour muttering “so hot cleaning them knowing they’re just gonna get dirty again.” Kyle got frustrated during a match and took it out on Ryan’s face with his size 12s by kicking him. Kyle didn’t mean to, although he had the most evil grin on his face. I looked at Kyle approvingly as he told Ryan to remove both his shoes with his teeth, having seen some of my videos for shits and giggles. Ryan looked at me with Kyle’s scent filling the room as I laughed already used to it. “It’s humiliating being used by 3 men while they play video games as I proudly await orders and abuse.” David tossed a controller a Ryans head just to hurt him. “Thank you sir, but I can’t play anyway because I haven’t been given permission and I’m too stupid to play. I am a fucking idiot after all, and I would let you all win on purpose because I love losing.” The vicodin had kicked in long before, and it was clear he was spreading his brain to be fucked and warped. David rested his feet on Ryan’s back like a footrest as Ryan stared at Kyle’s grey socked feet. His socks should’ve been white but he snickered to Ryan he had been wearing them for a couple weeks now. Ryan buried his face in both of them after moaning, “thats so hot there’s so many holes in them.. fuck you’re only 19 and i’m 41…” I threw my shoes at Ryan since he loved being hurt. It also turns me on when I hear his reaction along with thank You.

David made fun of Ryan knowing his entire history “You lame ass faggot you left your family just to be a fucking loser? You’re TWICE Kyle’s age what the fuck is wrong with you?” Only David still had his shoes on, having the biggest feet and driving Ryan crazy. “Everything is wrong with me sir,” he muttered while sniffing Kyle’s bare soles through the holes in his socks. We continued the next match laughing at Ryan and playing at the same time as I crossed my legs onto Kyle’s so 2 sets of size 12 feet feet would be in his face at the same time. We kept playing as our feet were side by side. When playing we’d casually kick Ryan in the face.  Sometime later Kyle asked for Ryan’s phone. Ryan had a green dot card with his “allowance” which would increase if he was more reckless then usual. (Today he has a venmo card.) Ryan did as told and begged to please sniff David’s bare feet. David got bold, “Give me your phone after Kyle is done robbing you! Lick my fucking shoes like you were earlier. What a fucking loser. BEG ME TO ROB YOU OF YOUR ALLOWANCE!!” Kyle didn’t have a PPal but had a Venmo. Being so young he took a random $75 and tossed his phone carelessly to David as the screen cracked. Ryan muttered something about the pleasure of being wrecked. David put the switch controller down as he was really fucking with Ryan’s head as he pulled off his shoes with no socks on. The scent of all man filled the room stronger then before. My entire living room smelled like a locker room.. and all being kinky none of us cared. David had Paypal Square, Venmo, Circle you name it.

(To horned up readers, jerk off to these words. PayPal CashApp Venmo GoogleWallet Circle ApplePay. Recite it like a poem.)

David’s bare 14s with long toes were pressed against Ryan’s face as I told him to strip naked. “I want you to jerk off to being left broke by others.  Be proud for being a piece of shit. Feel more pathetic each passing day being owned by me and in the next room. I removed his chastity device, “Jerk off, but don’t cum until I tell you. If you cum before I tell you, there will be no treats or allowance for a month.” Ryan began jerking off while David laughed sending himself $150, leaving Ryan with half of his allowance saved up. He jerked off faster as the alerts pinged on both of their phones. “All of you boys are so fucking hot, I love you Kris…. “ David interrupted him as he rightly deserved to. Dude what the fuck is a treat?,” He asked as he began to grind his strong feet against Ryan’s face as if he was trying to break his nose. I reached into my pocket again as Ryan happily opened his mouth for another Vicodin. “Those are his dog treats.” Ryan dove back into David’s feet “I’m a stupid bitch and dog treats are what I deserve. To be addicted to master and dog treats…” David laughed at how pathetic this 41 year old man had no dignity whatsoever taking the rest until it was declined.

Ryan looked at me with the other dose kicking in HARD. “Sir may I have an advance for my allowance for the entire next month. I want to get gang banged by all 3 of you men. I beg you to let me bend over with my cash cunt and take all 3 of you.” With a few buttons on Venmo it was done. David swiftly deducted $200 from Ryan tossing it back to Kyle. I informed Ryan he was losing another month but from me. His face was still buried in David’s size 14s as he was getting high on his “dog treats” and getting drained. It was more humiliating to take verbal abuse and get fucked over by a guy more then half his age. Kyle laughed while telling Ryan he’s a greedy asshole and how he took $200 as well. Ryan moaned again drugged out of his mind how amazing it was being bent over… and having 3 dicks poking his wallet at once. He moved his ass in the air in doggy position sniffing David’s feet while jerking off. Kyle Took another $100 and kicked Ryan in the side of his head, tossing the phone back again. Soon it was declined again, leaving Ryan’s balance at $1.37. “My wallet is spread open like a fucked pussy sir… I want my wallet to have a rosebud…”

___________________________________________________________

Part 3, 2020

Conclusion

2 years later late into 2019, Ryan began acting very distant. I sensed something off but blocked it out of my mind as he continued to cook, clean, and work for me. One day while he was at work I was shocked to find many of this things missing from his bedroom. As some slaves know, I had panic disorder where it feels like I’m going to have a heart attack. My heart began racing as I didn’t mention it as he came home from work later that evening. He went right to his room and said he wasn’t feeling well and needed to rest. Something about the tone in his voice seemed very off to me. I went to my own room to sleep hours later after watching reruns of the twilight zone. I woke up the next morning and found out that even more was missing. Once his bed was missing, I called his phone frantically not getting any response. Out of pure emotion that I couldn’t explain I ordered an Uber to his work. I needed to talk to him now and not later. As I arrived Ryan refused to make eye contact as I asked why so much was missing from his room. “Kristopher I don’t want to talk about this here.” He had never called me by my name casually like this before. I didn’t make a scene and got myself an Uber back home.

When Ryan arrived home later that evening he sat on the couch and finally looked at me, “We do need to talk Kris.” Not hearing him call me Sir was bothering me more then I would have imagined. He spoke first, “I’ve been moving my things into a storage unit and am looking for an apartment of my own. I’m already planning on opening my own checking account, so you won’t be getting my paychecks anymore.” The expression on my face was indescribable according to him. In a dry voice I asked him why. “Because I want more in life. Do I enjoy being used by you? Of course. For years I’ve said I loved you. At first when I said it I meant it as a way of worshipping you. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been expressing it more, but it means something different now. I know I can never have you.” Hearing this hit me like a giant shock wave, as I was in complete denial. “Ryan you don’t love me. I think you’re not in the right state of mine.” His response, “Honestly Kristopher I never have been, and never will be. But I know enough to know when I am unhappy. Not being able to have you is hurting me more are time goes on.”

“Why are you leaving?” I asked him again as if I didn’t hear him the first time. He looked up at me, “I have a serious question. When was the last time you ever loved someone Kristopher? Your entire life is focused around findom in the online world. Can you truly be happy yourself being alone? The rush of BDSM is temporary, but inside we both have empty voids. For once “Sir” doesn’t know everything. I may be a submissive loser but I’m not completely stupid.” I looked at him in the eyes, “I haven’t loved anyone since Dan, the love of my life I lost due to drug addiction back in 2010.” He slammed his fists on the couch, “I’m tired of hearing about you dwelling on him. It’s not jealousy, its about actually caring about you. Your looks are going to fade, and then what will you have left? I’ve given you everything of mine. I’ve literally devoted my life to you. How can you not fall in love over time?”

I crossed my arms having a hard time taking in what he was saying. My thoughts of any void was him not being around. He asked me if I loved him or have ever had any emotions towards him. I looked back at him, “No I see you as my slave, I don’t love you. That doesn’t mean I want you to go.” He stood up from the couch, “Then you don’t care about me. If you can’t feel anything with your heart, you’re already dead inside.” His words stung like a slap to my face but I said nothing. “I’m going to continue packing and I want you to respect my decision. I can’t live here another moment living in pain and seeing your face knowing I can’t have you. I’ve given you EVERYTHING, all I want you to give me is your heart.” Out of anger I told him to pack his shit and said “Fine get the fuck out.” Ryan looked at me with angry eyes with hurt for the very first time and said, “Ok.” He slammed the door to his bedroom. He didn’t come out the entire time unless to use the bathroom. We said not a word to each other.

A week went by as I woke up with his room completely empty with a note saying “Goodbye Kristopher, I wish you nothing but good luck and happiness. I hope you will learn to let someone inside your heart that’s rotting away.” It takes a lot to make me cry, and that’s exactly what I did as I tore the note to shreds. Days went by as the silence was only broken by the records spinning on my turntable in the living room. Cooking for myself was a rare event, and now I was doing it multiple times a day. I began scrubbing my own floors for the first time in ages. In my mind I was mad at Ryan and considered him ungrateful for taking him away from his abusive marriage 6 years ago. While cleaning out a hard drive one day, I saw a picture of us playing Pokemon Go together. My arms were around him as casual friends, smiles on both of our faces. I cried harder then I did when I found his goodbye note. I stopped going in the chatroom on dominants as I didn’t feel like myself enough to put on a genuine face. I made 4k in December and reality hit further when his paychecks stopped coming to my bank account. As New Year passed I tried to act normal while talking to my slaves on Skype, remembering the day I met him.

Leon had posted a “Happy New Year” status telling everyone to be safe and take Ubers home. It was that post that set me off as I started thinking crazy thoughts. “I miss him, I can’t take it anymore.” I continued to dominate my slaves, keeping my emotions to myself while staying professional. It was eventually to the point where he stopped texting to ask how I was that I felt I was losing my mind. I called him 7 times in a row, “I need to talk to him NOW,” I told myself. His phone kept going to voicemail. I suddenly remembered I still had his phone on GPS. A few days after New Years day, I could have cared less about legal weed in Illinois. For once in ages, I was following my heart and not caring what any “rules” were in findom let alone BDSM. He was right, the gratification of my fetish as a dominant was only temporary in reality. It was then I realized I DID love him. I cried while texting him I was taking an Uber to him. I must have been acting like a maniac. He finally text me back and asked what was so important.”

“I need to see you NOW. Please come over if I can’t come to where you are. I will PAY you.” To those reading this, perhaps I wasn’t thinking clearly. Maybe I was finally listening to my heart rather then my ego. I had been hurt in life many times and one of my subconscious theme songs was Cher’s “Heart Of Stone.” After so much hurt such as my ex gf aborting my child, I truly did develop a Heart Of Stone. Ryan responded, “I don’t want your money Kristopher, but I can’t see you I’m sorry. I sent him a video message with puffy red eyes from crying, “For once I’m begging YOU to do something please.” (“Something is wrong with him, I can’t say no seeing his eyes like that. That is NOT like Kris.”) Ryan told me he could come see me tomorrow evening. That 24 hours was probably the longest day of my life as I watched the clock. When he did arrive he looked tired and sad himself. “Kris do you think I actually hate you? I don’t.” My heart took over my ego, my walls, insecurity, and the stones shielding my heart.

For the first time in my life, I got on my knees for a submissive/slave. Only this time in my eyes he wasn’t a slave, he was a man standing before me. It took not having him around me for my human instincts of emotion to take hold. “Ryan, I want to ask you something and if your answer is no, you can walk right out the door. I will never bother you again.” Ryan turned away from me, “I’m not moving back in, I can’t live in pain anymore.” I asked if he still loved me. “Please don’t do this to me Kris and don’t toy with my feelings. That’s low, even for you.” I shook my head while still on my knees. “That’s not entirely what I was going to ask you. Will you make me the  happiest man in the world and marry me.” Ryan faced away from me for what seemed like eternity until he turned around to face me shocked sincerely. “Kristopher what is wrong with you. Your emotions are reacting to an empty void, you don’t want me.” I stood up and showed him the photo of us together that day at the park playing Pokemon Go. “When I saw this I burst into tears. Do you think those puffy eyes were my imagination? It took loosing you to realize I DO love you. I am in love with you Ryan ******. I want you as my equal and would want nothing more then to grow old with you.”

Ryan was quiet then replied, “Oh my god you’re serious.” I looked him straight in the eyes kneeled before him. “Kris… YES I DO.” For the first time in a month I saw the biggest smile on his face.” I stood up and asked what he meant by “I Do.” He reached towards me and kissed me on the lips for the first time with our lips touching for what seemed like hours. “Yes Sir I will marry you.” Those were the greatest words I had ever heard in my life until now. Ryan began to cry himself not with sadness but with mixed emotions of joy and relief. “It’s what I’ve always wanted, I loved you since the first day we met even though I didn’t know it Kris. I would have never done those hard core things if I didn’t feel so close to you. You’re the only person I would do those things with. Are you sure this is what you really want?” I kissed him again, “Yes this is what I want, I never want you to leave ever again. If you want to end our BDSM dynamics we can. You are my other half.”

Ryan grinned ear to ear. “Oh no I want it to continue, I’m too addicted to the power you have over me.” I grabbed him by the hand, “We can discuss that later, right now I want you in my bed.” Ryan smiled and begged me to be inside him intimately. Thats exactly what happened. Days later we went and legally got married. It was the happiest day of my life, and I’ve never felt so alive. I was debating telling the scene as straight masters were open about having female partners. In response to my debating Ryan suggested, “Haven’t you always been about telling haters to fuck off? You are an alpha and always will be. Even if not to others you will be to me. I put my arms around him, “Thats all that matters to me Babe.” I only told Leon and French and pondered how to make happy life known. I decided to that by writing this blog. Now all of you know. I finally found the person of my dreams.

As for our power exchange, his paychecks go right to my checking account again. In the bedroom he always addresses me as sir. He has gone back to having a simple Venmo card, “Financial Domination will never go away for me Sir. After all, I’m a dumb loser and a fucking idiot. Its better that my hard earned cash be managed by you. I want to feel your cash cock fucking me for life. As long as I have you, a dumb faggot like me doesn’t need a checking account. You own me.”

The End